Tip of the Day: Manscape

by Eubie on June 9, 2013

Seneca_CraneLet’s start you off with some deep stuff. Used to be that women were objectified and men did the objectifying. At least, that’s what you hear. The media and our culture treat women as sex objects, little more than the sum total of their individual parts. But the world we live in today find us confronting rapidly changing cultural norms about beauty, attractiveness and the intrinsic value of both the human as visual experience and as individual. Whew! Okay, too heady? We’ll dial it back a bit. What we’re getting at is that men are increasingly objectified, especially as women become economically powerful. Hurrah for progress!┬áIn the olden days, women made themselves attractive for men because their livelihood depended on it–e.g., finding a man willing to take care of them. No more! Today, women make the green, and so can afford to be more selective in the mates they choose. What does that mean for you? In a word: Manscaping! You want to get the girl, you’ve got to deal with that apeman ‘hair’suit you’re wearing. Shave it off! Shave it all off! That’s the mantra for today’s metrosexual, hip, swinging, dazzling urbanite. Face? That’s a given, though you may want to sport some variation of the mustache-beard combo (but not just a mustache, bro. This ain’t the ’70s and you ain’t a porn star. Are you?), though you’ll want to keep it trim without cutting lines in your face that make you look like the ‘Gamemaker’ from the Hunger Games (who also happened to be the kid with the swirling bag in American Beauty! That’s totally true!) Nose? Wait, you haven’t considered the nose? Consider it. You look like you have knitting needles coming out of there. The rest of it we’ll leave up to you. Want to glide through the water like a seal, shave it. However, there is one area that’s been the focus of much discussion: your junk! We recommend something tasteful… which means not cutting your bush into silly shapes like hearts or arrows pointing south. Trim it, remove it entirely, or something in between. The upside? It’ll make you look like you’re packin’ more in your package!

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Paul September 1, 2013 at 4:57 pm

Women are not obligated to shave their legs Correct. Women are not OBLIGATED, but it’s a nice geustre. And for those who don’t feel like shaving there are always pants! I’ve told you this before and I’ll say it again I find hairy legs and pits personally disgusting (no matter the gender)! Most men don’t shave their legs and thankfully most men don’t wear shorts, skirts, or dress. In other words most men don’t expose their legs in public! Women are able to wear skirts, shorts, dresses, etc to church, work, pretty much anywhere while the male counterpart is not and maybe it’s just me, but I think shaving legs or wearing tights to cover the forest is a bearable trade off! Leg stubble in bed is fine and dandy, but a forest of hair down there (on your legs or up in the pits) is just not a welcoming geustre! It’s like bad breath or foul body odor just not common decency! Ok, that rant is over, now don’t even get me started on vaginal farting during oral sex


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