Tip of the Day: Good Advice Can Come From the Strangest Places

by Eubie on June 12, 2013

Trending on Twitter is a … what do you call something trending on Twitter? A meme? A Twend? … anyway, a bunch of Tweeters are Twitting about #LessonsFromScaryMovies. Of course this has been done before in a scary movie: Scream, with Jamie Kennedy doling out the wisdom as Ghostface hacks and slashes his way through the kids at Woodsboro High School. But, apparently we’ve learned a lot since 1996, and so we now have an updated version of what (life) lessons we can glean from horror films. Here they are, courtesy of a story about the Twittorial Twending:

1. Watch your step… as in, don’t trip while you’re trying to escape from that Masked Specter of Death. Keep your wits about you and your feet under you!

2. Think Stealthy… and by this we mean, don’t yell “Hello!” when you go into a dark house/room/dungeon where a killer might be lurking. In fact, keep your mouth shut as a rule and you just might make it out alive!

3. Never Overstay Your Welcome… GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! Go for a walk, see a movie, maybe even a scary one that’ll teach you not to linger in the general area where a monster is shedding blood to mark his territory.

4. Dress for Success! Nothing too flashy or eye-catching… especially if that eye contains a black, vacuous hole that is a window into the black, vacuous soul of a slaughterhouse on two legs.

5. A Little Dirt Never Hurt Anybody (But a Hot Shower Can Kill!)… just ask Jamie Lee Curtis’s mom!

6. Never Presume… that stillness indicates anything more than a respite between vivisections. If you’re lucky enough to get the killer on his back, keep whaling on him until he’s gravy.

7. If You Are a Person of Color (or an Attractive White Woman or Fat), RUN!¬†And don’t stop until you find yourself in a romantic comedy.

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