Oh, How the Mighty Have Fallen

by Eubie on December 12, 2013

fc8bc85e66a46129450f6a706700c5f5The news coming out of North Korea is that Jang Song Thaek (장성택), Vice Chairman of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea’s (DPRK), a.k.a. North Korea’s National Defense Commission, husband of former ‘Dear Leader’ Kim Jong-il’s (김정일) sister, Kim Kyong Hui (김경희), and uncle of current ‘Baby Leader’ Kim Jong Un (김정은), has been ‘re-educated,’ ‘corrected,’ ‘assimilated,’ ‘assassinated,’ and/or ‘purged.’ The Man Behind the Man Behind the Gun has fallen on his own sword, sorry for the mixed metaphors. His crime? Leading a “dissolute and depraved life.” We bet you did, Jang, we bet you did.

As Number #2 to Kim Jong-il–and also a family member who had in the past been ‘exiled’ and ‘re-educated’ for a couple of years back in the mid-2000s–not only was Jang instrumental in helping Jong-il’s third son, Jong-un, assumed the role of third generation titular leader of one of the Craziest Places on the Planet™, but also in solidifying the younger Kim’s grip on the throne. The palace intrigue is positively dripping with scandalously delicious drama. For starters, as we mentioned Jang was married to Jong-il’s sister (and in part this explains his access to power), so to be convicted not only of trying to overthrow the government, but of “womanizing,” means he cheated on God, Junior’s sister, auntie of God the Third. We thinks there is an Empress Dowager behind the death sentence. Hell hath no fury, after all. Jang’s epitaph? State media labeled him “worse than a dog.”

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