Tip of the Day: (Watch) 12 Films You’ll Never Watch Again!

by Eubie on September 12, 2014

… or so says this website Movieseum. Why the one-off viewing? The common descriptive seems to be ‘disturbing’… as in, ‘too disturbing to watch more than once.’ Still, if you’re a bit of the philosopher, you’ll want to dip a toe at least once, if for no other reason than to gauge the limits of your own humanity. Here they are in the order in which they were presented (minimal commentary):

1. American History X (1998): Ed Norton neo-Nazi vehicle. The ‘egg-cracking’ scene is brutal. We can’t watch it.

2. The Devil’s Rejects (2005): Rob Zombie, meet Slasher Flick. Slasher Flick, meet Rob Zombie. Maximum kudos for the Marx Brothers references.

3. The Bad Lieutenant (1995): Harvey Keitel as the most loathsome of corrupt cops. Some of us here at the HUB see this as more of a ‘documentary.’

4. Audition (1999): Not for the squeamish. Sick twist meets misogynist, sparks fly, Nazareth taken to new level.

5. The Birth of a Nation (1915): One of the first movies to define the structure and grammar of film. The visuals are breathtaking… especially when the Klan rides up to lynch a black man for stealing a white woman’s virtue. Like a punch to the kidneys. Side note: We are writing this within walking distance of the birthplace (and final resting place) of famed (infamous) silent film director D. W. Griffith, reminding us that one day we all will be judged… and judged again.

6. Lilya 4-Ever (2002): This is one on the list we haven’t seen so we’re just going to spit-ball this. Basically, the Liam Neeson actioner Taken (2008) from his daughter’s POV. Oh, and without the super-spy father to save her.

7. The Elephant Man (1980): Finally, a film by David Lynch, the man who invented un-rewatchable movies (kidding, Dave, kidding…). Remember the Farrelly Bros. Shallow Hal (2001)? This is kinda like that film only really, really sad. The ‘Ugly-on-the-Inside’ kind of people win (but don’t they always).

8. Biutiful (2010): Another we haven’t seen. Javier Bardem as a Spanish Walter White (sorta), doing for dying low-level criminals what he’s done for deranged contract killers with pageboy haircuts.

9. Amores Perros (2000): Movieseum says it’s a Mexican Pulp Fiction (1994). Cool!

10. Sophie’s Choice (1982): Gut-wrenching even by Holocaust movie standards. Meryl Streep makes you want to eat your own heart.

11. The Road (2009): It’s all there, the whole unforgiven wretched hope(less/ful)ness of life. You are born into a merciless world. You walk the road (‘a traveler of both time and space’). You produce others to continue the journey. You guide them for as long as you can. You die but the road goes on. Happy ending?

12. Nil by Mouth (1997): Welcome to the dark mind of one-time writer/director Gary Oldman, much more famous for his turns as misfits and crazies. Brit character actor Ray Winstone (and Oldman) gives us his interpretation of the banality of evil in South London.

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